Hawaiian Smoked Tuna Mac-Attack

Look the f out, this is a tuna mac that might ruin you for your mama's tuna mac salad. Fair warning. :)

This recipe is really an ode to Hawaii in a loving sorta way. Most folks that have been here know that Hawaiians are simply mad about their tuna mac salad. It is served with everything from poke to loco moco to easily being a lunch or dinner staple all on its own. But while it is a beloved staple here in the islands, it can also be your run of the mill tuna mac. I just mean that it isn't fancy, just down home macaroni pasta and canned tuna with mayo and some veggies, maybe. Just meh?

Not at my house.

We get so much fresh tuna that tuna itself is a staple. And it winds up on the smoker just as often as it winds up in our bellies as poke. 

My family is just cray cray crazy for sushi and sashimi in any form. Florida roots, one might say. But since we do consume a fair amount of tuna fish, fresh out of the water, we don't treat it like it's mundane. In fact, Tsu throws a lot of tuna on the smoker when he is doing his thang. His smoker is quite a large one we got when we first moved to Hawaii and being that we can smoke quite a bit at one time, he makes the most of it and will smoke tuna, ono, salmon, chicken, brisket, you freaking name it. Really, whatever he's got a mind to smoke, everything goes in the smoker.

His mama and I love us some tuna fish salad. We can eat this every day if it is available. However, since Tsu started making Smoked Tuna Mac, we've become so enamored that this is our preferred way to eat it, hands down.

Our tuna mac is also made with homemade noodles. I make homemade spaetzle practically every other week as it is one of my family's favorite go-to noodles all by itself. That's why I make it by the ton. lol! I will make double batches just so we can have smoked tuna mac any chance we have to get smoked tuna. Usually, the sight of nearly 4 lbs of noodles is enough to get Tsu in the mood to get the smoker going. However if he smokes enough, we usually have an abundance of smoke fish in the freezers to serve the purpose any night we want.

If you have never made spaetzle, you are missing out on a serious homemade pasta secret straight outta Germany and Austria. Like the fastest weeknight meal I make is spaetzle all by itself. But if anyone is craving it, spaetzle and cheese might just ruin you for your mama's mac n cheese too. 

Here's the nitty gritty of our Smoked Tuna Mac:

• 1 lb of smoked tuna (no fresh tuna? smoke it in the can on your smoker! you heard me...)
• 1 lb of cooked macaroni or spaetzle (see my recipe for spaetzle if you need it)
• finely diced jalapenos
• capers
• finely diced red onion
• cumin seeds or ground, whichever you prefer
• salt, pepper to taste (go easy until you get the capers in as they do add a good amount of salt)
• finely diced dill pickles
• homemade mayo or aioli or whatever you prefer in that category
• fresh minced dill or cilantro

1. Get yourself some noodles. I don't care what they are or how you come about them but this is a key ingredient so use your bulk noodles or make your own spaetzle in the same amount of time as you would make a box of mac.
2. Smoked tuna, as little or as much as you have on hand.
3. Everything in the pool, so to speak. Mix all gently until well combined.
4. Serve on a bed of lettuce or just in a gigantic bowl you can drown in cuz trust me, it's that good.

Laab Gai for your favorite Guy or Gal

This recipe I've probably talked about many times but for those of you who may be unfamiliar it is a Thai spicy minced chicken salad that is usually served warm or cold with lettuce or cabbage. It's a go-to any time our family is testing the Thai waters at a new restaurant, along with the red curry, of course. And perhaps a papaya salad. If the restaurant makes tod mun (fish cakes) then we at least have a clue that it is authentic, at the very least.

One of the very first meals I ever made for Tsu when we first started dating was this. I made laab, papaya salad and red curry chicken, along with spicy nam prik just to show off a little. I mean, why not? If you can do it, flaunt it. He never misses an opportunity to blow my mind with his cooking and I'm so glad I opted to do the same the first time I ever cooked for him. 

Pretty sure it sealed the deal. lol! He was so impressed that I think it sparked an instant rekindling of his own food passions at a time when we were both feeling pretty low from our respective divorces. 

If you don't think food can bring some magic... you best think again. It became our love language before we knew like we knew we were a match made in Heaven. 

So when it came time for his birthday extravaganza this year, this was the request he made. He wanted exactly the same thing and I was tickled to oblige.

If you are in a pinch for time, any weeknight, this could be an easy, quick meal to prepare or even prepare a day ahead if you know your week is a bit tight. He asked me for a double batch and I ended up make nearly 3 lbs of laab. Hilarious, really, but it is an excellent salad served either warm or cold and we quite like it served chilled. Leftovers have time to meld and the flavors just become really wonderful.

Let's get to the magic, shall we? 

Ingredients:

• 1 lb of minced meat of your choice (we like pork or chicken but beef is great, too)
• Juice of fresh lime
• Fish sauce
• 1/3 c of minced fresh mint leaves
• 1/3 c of minced fresh cilantro
• 1/2 red onion thinly sliced
• Dried chili flakes, to taste
• Toasted rice powder (It's just like it sounds, toasted Jasmine rice in a pan until just barely starting to color, put in a mini food processor and ground very finely. It's traditional and important and easy to make yourself if you can't find it or order it online.)
• Finely minced lemongrass (this is optional but it does add something special just make sure its the base of the stalk and as fine as you can slice or dice it)
• Cabbage wedges or lettuce of your choice

Magic sauce:

I call it magic because it is balanced and uses equal parts of these:

• Fish sauce
• Water
• Fresh lime juice

1. Add your minced meat to a cold pan and put the heat on medium low. You can raise the heat a bit later if you want but you are not browning the meat, you are simmering it gently in its own liquid along with the magic sauce below that creates its base flavor profile, which is salty, citrusy, but still very balanced and not overpowering. Unless you love it like that? And in that case, go nuts.
2. Add equal parts of magic sauce. This is your base liquid. Don't worry about too much liquid, initially. It's better to have too much than not enough as we don't want the meat to brown or to stick to the pan so use that as your gage. I start with 2 tbsp if each and continue to add more so the meat doesn't stick or overbrown. For 1 lb of ground meat, you may use 4 tbsp of each. I had 3 lbs of meat this time and just went with a 1/4 c of fish sauce, lime juice and water and that ended up being too much liquid once the meat cooked down. But not to worry if that's the case for you, too.
3. Gently simmer the meat until fully cooked. We want a little sauce, but not too much so you can play with this as you learn. Strain off excess liquid and reserve it until you get it how you like. I reserve it in case I strain off too much. You want it to be loose in the sauce but not swimming in it like mine was, but like I said above, better to have too much than too little. We don't want the meat to fry or stick to the pan.
4. Let your meat cool down quite a bit, strain off excess liquid if you haven't already, then really just toss in all the rest of your fresh ingredients and mix in well. I leave the chili flakes for last as this is entirely subjective. My household consumes so much chili that we make our own chili flakes. That's a recipe for another time but you can use dried pepper flakes like you would for pasta or pizza. Korean chili powder is also an alternative as it's not too hot but gives a good flavor as well if you don't enjoy the spicy heat like we do.
5. Serve immediately or you can refrigerate and serve it chilled with your favorite greens. I serve this family style with wedges of cabbage or iceberg because we like to eat it like lettuce cups or wraps.

We usually also make sticky rice or jasmine rice because that is traditional. But if you aren't into rice, it doesn't need it.

Southern Staples: Lady Cream Peas and Buttermilk Cornbread

So traditionally speaking, down South, New Year’s is a time for black eyed peas and cabbage. You know, for good luck. Got helg! 

It's a Southern tradition, a staple in so many ways, but more than anything, it is a comfort food for me and always, always reminds me of my grandparents.

And I can’t help it, but I always crave these Southern staples in January because that’s what I grew up with as a child. 

But I do recall another special pea that my grandmother favored when they were available and in season: the Lady Cream Pea. 

This legume has now become a coveted heirloom that’s like the black eyed pea’s sweet baby sister but with a more delicate flavor and texture. Lady cream peas are more of a regional vegetable and I hadn't come across them outside of Louisiana or really thought about them much in quite a long time.

When I discovered these on Amazon during lockdown, it was like a jolt of nostalgia and I remembered my grandmother being a big fan of them. I had to have them! And I paid a pretty penny for them at the time, which probably still wasn't expensive but for the fact that it was a bit special for a little 'ol pea. But boy, was it a treat! It really sparked a culinary adventure when they finally arrived and I haven't been able to do without them since.

Here is how we make them at my house whenever true Southern Comfort is in order.

Ingredients:

• 4 smoked ham hocks
• Water to max
• 2 tbsp better than bouillon beef
• Sprig of thyme
• 3 bay leaves
• Instant pot pressure cook using stew/chili. 30 min normal pressure
• 1 lb bag of lady cream peas

Or... if you are obsessed with these like I am, buy in bulk from Camellia. :)

1. Add cleaned and washed peas to the Instant Pot, filling the remaining inner pot with water no higher than the Max marking on the inner pot.
2. Add your ham hocks, thyme and bay leaves to the pot then secure the lid for cooking.
3. Select the Stew/Chili setting, ensuring the pressure valve is locked and secured
4. After cooking, the Instant Pot will automatically switch to Keep Warm and at that point, you can manually release the pressure, carefully, to ensure they don't overcook.
5. Add the Better than Bouillon and stir in until incorporated.

Cornbread

Crap, I forgot the flour! I have to lead with this because it’s a happy accident that I very much enjoyed. It made it gluten-free, if not necessarily non-gmo. I say that because I don’t actually know if my white cornmeal is non-gmo, but it’s possible. I’d have to check the brand. But the point is that when accidents happen, don't automatically assume the recipe is a 'fail'. Often it is not and in this case, even though I missed an ingredient, it didn't change the outcome. The cornbread turned out fine. It truly was delicious.

• 1/4 cup butter (1/2 stick)
• 1 cup milk
• 1 large egg
• 1 1/4 cups yellow, white or blue cornmeal
• 1 cup Gold Medal™ all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

I used a cast iron skillet because why wouldn't you? If you have one, go ahead and use it. Preheat your oven at 400 degrees F and let your skillet heat up with the oven. Just when you are ready to put the cornbread in the oven, add a tbsp or two of butter just before pouring in your batter. Bake for 20 min or until set in the middle.

Hamalicious Leftovers - Hamakua King Mushrooms and Orange Garlic Mustard Glazed Smoked Ham

I mean, word to your mutha. This was by far one of my all time favorite Thanksgiving meals ever. Like, ever. And that is sorta saying a lot, right? And actually, that's because these were some of the best Thanksgiving leftovers I've ever had.

For one, I picked up a 5 lb bag of Hamakua Mushrooms directly from the farm day before Thanksgiving. Biggest damn bag of mushrooms I have ever seen in my life! I was ridiculously ecstatic and knew that most of what would happen for this year's Thanksgiving leftovers might just be all about these mushrooms.

And the ham, of course. Because I love love love me some ham. I was not even half wrong to think that way and these "mains" alone would have been enough, but holy crap. The sauce? Omg, we had some delicious base sauces. Who can go wrong with an orange garlic mustard glaze? I mean, really. Doesn't it sound good already? But we also do a bang up good cranberry sauce so this was also in play for our leftover menu for days to come.

Having done our family Thanksgiving a few weeks earlier in October when the whole family was visiting, we were completely turkey'd out by the time Thanksgiving Day actually rolled around. The things you can do with a 30 lb box of heritage turkey wings would blow your mind and as you can imagine, the family must have eaten a shit ton of turkey. Well, I assure you we did... like binge turkey'd. Hence the reason we were over turkey by then.

So I said, "Ham." Tsu said, "Heck yea," and thus. the gorgeous Thanksgiving ham feast was on.

Turkey who? I mean, doesn't matter we were having ham. Ham and cranberry sauce are definitely friends. We can't have Thanksgiving without cranberry sauce in my house. One might consider this a cultish classic in that, it's Thanksgiving, no matter what you are serving as long as there is cranberry sauce on the table. I've heard others tell me it's true in their family, too. Weirdo Americans, gotta love that shit.

Ok, it's a BFD... I make enough to store in vacuum-sealed 4 oz freezer jars for Tsu's midnight dining pleasures; it freezes and thaws beautifully. It is pretty darn tasty, won't lie so here is our version:

Orange Cranberry Sauce

• bag of fresh cranberriess
• zest and juice of one large navel orange
• white sugar
• reduce, add ,more sugar if needed. You don’t know until cranberries break down
• cinnamon stick

So no big process, I just put it all in a pan and sim simmer on low until the cranberries break down enough, adding sugar to taste if necessary. This is not a recipe so much as a list of suggested ingredients because I always just sorta wing it. But these are my tried and true ingredients which kinda determine the whole ratio depending on what palatable balance you need to strike.

And it is such a thing, I might just have to try it as an alternate glaze for a ham. Just sayin'.

However... the ham glaze I made this year was simply divine. Just a ridiculously good honey mustard with a sweet and tangy garlic punch.  

Tsu is not really a ham junky like I am but he loves pork in general. Me, I could eat it every day. And this meal, I ate every day at every meal until it was gone. I just couldn't get enough of it. No idea what my problem is? I love pork. I don't obsess over good food because we eat well in our house, but this to me, was obsession making. Tsu was pretty impressed and said he could eat it (and he did lol!) until he was sick, it was that good. 

My ham glaze:

• ~2 c brown sugar
• juice and zest of an orange, 
• juice of grapefruit, 
• Hawaiian lemon wedge or lime just to provide a bit of acid
• 5 whole fresh garlic cloves
• 3-4 tbsp butter
• about a cup of Boars Head stoneground honey mustard (we get this at the deli)
• 1-2 cups apple cider, reserved for baking the ham

Put all ingredients except the apple cider in a sauce pot on low. Stir all ingredients over low heat until the brown sugar has melted and all of the ingredients have become well combined. Take off the heat, cover and set aside until you need it.

I had a funky little bbq basting bottle with a silicone basting brush attachment top that I picked up on sale at Ace Hardware. Boy, was this ever handy. I just poured my glaze into this little baster and it made basting such a breeze.

Bake the motherlode of all holiday hams:

Bake the ham cut side down in a Creuset dutch oven with a little apple cider just to coat bottom of pan on 325 for 3 hours or 10 minutes per lb, covered with lid or tented w tin foil. 

I brushed a good layer of glaze on the ham to start, then glazed every hour. Remove lid after first hour. 

About an hour before the ham is done, add your king mushrooms, if you want to try it. Otherwise, any reserved liquid or glaze can be used again for your mushrooms should you want to have them on the side. I just tossed them in with the ham and they were fantastic. 

Glaze the ham again after taking out of oven. Perfect, glossy beautiful ham. 

We also served fennel mashed potatoes and homemade Hawaiian rolls, which just sorta made sense, right? We are in Hawaii and Hawaiian rolls are legit a big thing here but hey, I happily made them myself. The fennel was from my garden so it just all came together, but was simple and easy.

I had every intention of making a tarte tatin but I had puff pastry so instead just made apple puff pastries with cinnamon and guess what else? The ham glaze. Before you scoff, it was incredible and we devoured those for dessert and breakfast the next morning. Took me all of like 5 whole minutes and they were marvelous.

Yonanananabooboo Pineapple Banana Papaya Sorbet

Oh yea. I really needed to take a minute to at least draft this post as this was so outstanding. This was the second time I've used my new Yonanas frozen fruit sorbet machine. Saw this on sale at Amazon recently and thought what the heck? 

Sitting on 2 bushels of ripening bananas and having harvested several of our white Jade pineapples from the garden, along with the papaya that has to be harvested daily because it's season... Yea, kinda felt ok about this little purchase especially if it did what all the rave reviews claimed.

Holy buckets of frozen fruit, people. This is everything your covid summer has been missing. Ok, maybe that's just me but I'm digging this clever little kitchen device!

All it takes is frozen bananas, ideally, and frozen fruits of your choice, semi thawed enough to process. Shouldn't be mushy but still frozen just not rock hard either. Think about the fruit shute and size your fruit accordingly before freezing. 

Bananas will fit fine and that's sorta what makes the perfect sorbet without any additional sweeteners. It's frozen fruit science. Basically shaving the frozen fruit before forcing it out of the machine giving it the most excellent texture. Super fantastic texture. 

Our sorbet was started by chunking fresh pineapple, whole bananas and slices of peeled, seeded papaya. It's what we had. My first run using the machine we used frozen organic blueberries and strawberries from Costco and our homegrown bananas. It was out of this world.

Tsu was so impressed he immediately went to town on preparing a bag of fruit that became today's masterpiece.

This was the result of just a frozen gallon bag of fruit, maybe about a lb or so of fruit. The first quart was primarily bananas and pineapple until I could get to the bottom of the bag with the much more frozen papaya. But I ran out of room in my bowl so transferred that batch to a quart and ran the rest.

2 quarts or so of organic fruit sorbet made in less than 10 minutes. Ridiculous. Worth every penny of $40 or so on Amazon. Especially when I love sorbet enough to buy it frequently and I am blessed with an overabundance of fresh fruit. I mean, where has this thing been all my life?

Even if frozen sorbet isn't your jam...maybe it's frozen cocktails, huh?? Yea! Wanna blow your mama away with a real Pina colada? Or a strawberry daiquiri? Or a monkeyslap? Lol ok I made that last one up but kinda feel like I have one of those in my near future.

Holy Guacamole - Sous Vide Eggs Benny on Toast

I'm sure I've written about this before but I can't help but make a note of how easy this is to do for serving brunch or breakfast or heck, as a super posh dinner, for that matter. Especially if feeding a crowd. 

Sous vide poached eggs are so dope! So easy and impressive all at the same time that I don't know why having this device isn't more popular. It's the perfect foodie kitchen tool. Seriously, a favorite; even for a lazy girl. And yet, even in a lazy girl’s hands sous vide cooking can be ever so chic... 

For one thing, if most people knew just how quick and uber productive it is to put a bunch of eggs in a water bath, right in their little shells, along with a jar of all your beautiful hollandaise ingredients and just walk away until you are ready to serve... they'd probably think you were on crack. But once you have the correct temperature for your ingredients, it really is a walk away sorta deal. 

And the really cool bit is that even if every single guest needs to be served at a different time, you've still got it covered. For like hours... Perfect temp. Every time. Talk about completely stabilizing, what to me, is the hardest part of cooking really. 

Tsu can time food much better than I can but with Tsu Vide (lol ah autocorrect), I get a fair shake. Sous vide truly streamlines and perfects the whole timeline of food delivery; where I struggle when meal prepping on my own. Perfectly cooked ingredients, kept to temp and served according to that perfect temp at the perfect time, is a real art form. And probably where I fall down the most. I mean, it's hard people. 

Not anymore. 

Sous vide allows you to extend your meal service over hours, and at times, even overnight. What we have done, quite unintentionally, is test this extended dinner service planning with smoked ribs or other cooked ahead meals we want to reheat without recooking. 

Wanting to eat at random times is par for the course in a household that on occasion, has 3 grown man-boys who eat and sleep randomly and can be hungry pretty much 24/7. Same with my family who can descend like a large pack and eat like one, too. 

When the family is here, sous vide baths are used to keep dinner warm in case it’s a beach day or even just for overnight munch-outs or now, all day mimosa brunches. Sounds fun, huh? Trust me, it‘s magic. 

It’s the secret weapon of world renown chefs all over the world. And it’s our secret weapon, too. 

Inspiration for this dish is really guac on toast with sous vide poached eggs, hollandaise and lobster because Covid quarantine ain’t no joke, live large. The idea for me, is to basically have everything sous vide for this meal except for the guacamole and/or toast. Lobster is totally rockstar but use the most decadent topper you can think of or afford. Because we eating a lot at home, people...

Breakfast Prep: 

This is a general guideline for how I prep my breakfast or brunch basics.

1. Poach eggs. Place whole fresh eggs in a sous vide bath set to 145 F f or 45-60 minutes, turning down the sous vide to 130 F if wanting to keep warm indefinitely or over an extended meal service. Because ‘doneness’ means something different to everyone, it’s a good idea to test one at the 45 minute mark. Personally, I like a medium set white which might mean something different to you but for me that is closer to the 1 hr mark than not... I have also put fresh eggs in a stretchy, silicone strainer meant for steaming veggies, air removed, which works perfectly. This keeps eggs within reach and from rolling around in the water bath but it won’t hurt them one bit if that’s what you choose to do.
2. Make hollandaise (see my recipe here) and yes, guess what, you can just add all ingredients to your jar and use your immersion blender later when ready to serve, to emulsify it. You can also make it proper in your bullet then transfer that to your glass jar. I’ve done it successfully both ways just to test prepping all at once and it was awesome. 
3. Make guacamole or serve with sliced or mashed avocados. If you don’t care for or have avocado, no biggie. Make what you love or use what ya got. Because guess what goes with eggs and hollandaise? Everything.
4. Make toast, croissants, English muffins, cloud bread, Hawaiian bread, sourdough, baguette...  whatever you like to eat with your eggs. Waffles, pancakes, aebelskiver. Yup and yup.

The beauty of this breakfast is that you can control the temp for a perfectly poached egg, perfectly warmed hollandaise and all you have to do is prep toast, muffins or buns for your breakfast service magic. 

My new easy breezy sous vide hollandaise sauce:

• 3 egg yolks
• 1 stick salted sweet cream butter
• 1 tbsp of lemon juice (I had Hawaiian lemon aka Rangpur)
• Dash salt, pepper to taste
• 3 tbsp half n half (optional)

1. Put all ingredients in a mason jar with tight fitting lid. Don’t even have to stir, nothing.
2. Drop it like it’s hot into your water bath, along with your eggies. That’s 145 F, good buddy.
3. When ready to serve, blend with an immersion blender. Drop back into the sous vide bath yo keep warm as you serve. Bad ass way to keep hollandaise warm. 

**By the way, the ‘optional’ half n half, to me, is critical. It isn’t in traditional hollandaise but I won’t do it differently now because it keeps the sauce supple and perfectly thick but pourable. Do it just once, please, because you will see just what I mean.

My Wednesday Night Dinner version: 

-Bed of organic Frisse, arugula or radicchio mix
-Hollandaise or lemon vinaigrette or homemade caesar dressing and wait for it...
-Poached sous vide lobster

Some cool keto-friendly variations for poached egg goodness:

• On a chorizo slider
• Hangover burger or locomoco style on a beef patty (without the bun, of course)
• Served with cloud bread made savory like italian garlic bread
• Over a slice of fried char siu with bacon marmalade
• In a shallow bowl of roasted tomato sauce,  shakshuka-style
• On a bed of poached shrimp and cucumber salad
• Fried rice with fried eggs is the norm in our house but next time, I may just suggest poached eggs just to have on hand for the midnight snack attacks.

Endless possibilities with sous vide poached eggs, she gushes on and on enthusiastically. ;)

Wicked Good - Smoked Tuna Roe Shrimp Alfredo

Holy hell. Iron Chef Hawaii just threw down tonight. Tsu has been working on the components for this dish the last few days and oh my lord, the magic that he put before me tonight for dinner was so wicked-good, it blew my wicked mind.

Fruit Ninja dropped by earlier this week, Monday, I think. Although, this time, Fruit Ninja didn’t come bearing fruit.

This time, she brought something kinda rare, even though that is very much her game. Normally she is bringing special fruit or an abundance of seasonal fruit or on occasion, a Japanese dish she has made herself and wants to introduce to us.

But this time... she brings a hefty 2 lb hunk of beautiful, dark red tuna and the entire roe sack from the same fish, fresh caught that morning from the neighbor next door to her, two doors down the street. 

The stack of empty organic egg cartons she leaves behind tells the story of what I can return for the bounty she just shared with me. My gorgeous free range eggs makes a perfect barter even though she shares with me so frequently, I could never repay her kindness with eggs alone. But I sure do like the fact that I can provide something in return that she will enjoy, too.  I package up a dozen for Tsunami to take to her right away. 

After tonight’s meal, I package up another dozen for good measure.

Now, I know you may not have access to this type of thing so I won’t act like you do. I mean, I don’t. This was a gift. And up until now, I honestly never gave a thought to tuna roe. I’ve had salmon roe on sushi, even a Russian or Bulgarian caviar, but tuna roe? Nope. This was one of those things that just falls into your... um, smoker?

Well, that is just what Tsu did with it, being the mastermind he is. He smoked that package of yum. But he brined it first.

Yep this star of this particular food-gasm had 3 preparations before being blended into the smoked silkiness that would become THE BEST ALFREDO I’VE EVER EATEN. Yes, I know... All caps! Hands down this is drop the mic out of this world something you must try. You must.

So pretense, be damned. You may not get your hands on it, but IF YOU DO, you may come back looking for this here recipe, y’all. Mark my aloha.

In case you are lucky enough to purvey such a delicacy and want to try or are just plain curious, here is what Tsu did:

Prep the roe for the Alfredo “base” sauce:

1. Brine the roe For 24 hours in 2 tbsp sugar, enough water to completely cover roe, dash of salt.
2. Smoke the roe on low smoke hour and a half, mesquite chips.
3. Remove the roe from the sack. You can scrape it out with a spoon or just remove it like a casing on a sausage.
4. Sim simma the roe in garlic, butter, on low heat, whisking to break up roe so it doesn’t form lumps like you’d expect with ground beef. 
5. Gradually and gently whisk in half n half or heavy cream.
6. Purée this in a blender when the sauce has cooled. Blending hot liquids can be a disaster so I caution you to let this sufficiently cool before you do so or it will end up all over you and your kitchen ceiling.

Prep your Alfredo fixings (optional):
Tsu and I both love mushrooms so our Alfredo sauce adds sautéed mushrooms in white wine and butter, probably garlic and fresh thyme. This is entirely up to you but it is how we eat or Alfredo normally and I think the richness of flavor is important.

Serve:
When ready to serve, Tsu warmed up the smoked roe “base”, added roughly a cup of store bought Alfredo sauce to loosen the sauce and then gently added the sautéed mushrooms.

We served it over penne pasta which was cooked al dente, then warmed and finished in the pan with the sauce. You could use virtually any pasta you desire but penne was a good choice because it can grab the sauce, which trust me, you will love.

Garnish with sliced scallions, fresh parsley and fresh black pepper. Oh, and copious amounts of fresh grated parmesan cheese, naturally.

Suggestions:
We served ours with local peeled, deveined shrimp that were dusted with Cajun seasonings then lightly seared for a minute on each side but not cooked through. The shrimp finish their cook in the sauce, along with the penne, just before serving so they warm through but don’t end up over-cooked.

The next night we served it with gorgeous seared scallops.

The last night, I made zoodles with my spiralizer and a summer zucchini which I served with the remaining sauce. I’m obsessed with zoodles because I love zucchini and summer squash. It’s keto-friendly, too if you are avoiding or watching carbs. And by night 3, if you are so lucky, zoodles might be the way to go!

Sadly, there was no night 4... ;)

Spaetzle and Cheese - Schickymicky American Mac n Cheese

Marvelous. Made spaetzle one night randomly after someone wanted chicken noodle soup. Seriously, instant hit, it was so indulgent and yummy. Uber comfort food.

Inspired I decided to make one of my all time favorites, spaetzle and cheese. It sparked an instant food obsession in my household as this became our new “adult mac n cheese” favorite.

Bechamel, baby. If that word is involved, get ready for some righteous eats. 

We take this French mother sauce, add it to our German noodles and how we end up with American mac n cheese is beyond me, but that’s what ya get here. ;) Well, that’s what I tell the boys anyway. Lol! Sold!

Spaetzle is one of my favorite noodles and once you make it a few times, you really become a fan. Like an entire batch of these buttered noddles can disappear in an instant, no lie. And they are surprisingly easy to make, so why not go for it?

Last time I made this for our chicken noodle soup, there was literally a squabble/near meltdown when one of the kids felt sure he was being ripped off as his brother devoured bowl after bowl of these noodles in like lightspeed fashion... Until I magically revealed a previously undisclosed gigantic bowl of noodles warming under a dish towel discreetly next to the stove. Disaster averted. Drama instantly abated. It earned fake-mumsy a heartfelt hug. Not today hangry house-monster, not today...

Ah, the power of spare spaetzle. Don’t underestimate it.

And so easy. I have a super inexpensive spaetzle maker I bought on Amazon for less than $12. Honestly, it’s one tool I may not use every day but when I need it, it’s invaluable. Such a timesaver you can literally whip up noodles super fast because you dump your dough right in and just rub it through the sieve-like holes directly over salted boiling water until it’s all used up. Super impressive, useful, efficient tool. 

And pork belly. Gotta have some pork belly. Ok, maybe that’s just us. We always have pork belly on hand since we cure our own bacon. But sky is very much the limit. If you love it, put it in. Lobster or King crab is my man’s favorite jam, for added at-home pandemic luxury. If you can’t go out to eat, do it yo’self, my friends. It’s most rewarding to eat well, feed each other well, when times are suck-ola.

I butter traditional oval oven safe baking dishes for baking and serving. Single serve or family style. You can probably guess why we do single-servings in my house of hungry men. Big ones. Make extra, freezing leftovers if you can’t eat it all.

Spaetzle:

• 2 1\4 c flour
• 1tsp salt
• 1\2 to 1 c water
• 2 large eggs

1. Mixed until firm but slightly tacky dough is achieved. Rough guess at water but if weather is nice, just about 1 c. This part you need to sort out yourself as the water should yield a slightly sticky, tacky dough that almost resembles a heavy batter. If dough is too firm or dry, you will curse me because it won’t be easy to push quickly through your maker or sieve.  
2. Let dough rest 10 minutes to relax a bit before making the noodles.
3. Large pot of salted water to boil. Spaetzle maker over top. The dough ball is a little sticky, right. Wet hands helps a bit. It will fit in the pusher compartment completely so just work it quickly back and forth putting slight pressure as you go to force the dough to push through the holes. They float and puff recognizably when done. 

I had a little butter, olive oil and some warm chicken stock on hand the first time I served them which made them perfect buttery noodles. Kids were crazy for them, like I said. I made 2 batches which is a LOT of noodles for a family of 6, plus more for leftovers regardless of how much your grown man boys think they can eat...

In case you haven’t seen my post for Cheesey Béchamel:

• 2 cups whole milk
• salt, pepper to taste
• 6 tablespoons butter
• 6 tablespoons flour
• 6 tablespoons fresh chives
• 2 1/4 c grated Swiss/Gruyere

1. Make the Béchamel by melting your butter in a non stick skillet on low heat. Let it melt, don't let it brown. As soon as it has melted, add your flour and gently whisk in to incorporate.
2. Add the milk a little at a time so you can incorporate it evenly into the roux. I use a measuring cup, makes pouring a little at a time so much easier. It will be very thick at first but keep adding the milk stirring with a whisk if you have one, until it's all incorporated. It will be smooth and silky. No lumps.
3. Remove from the heat and season your bechamel sauce with salt, pepper to taste.
4. Stir in grated cheese of your choice. I prefer Gruyere or smoked Gouda, which is out of this world yum. Velveeta or American will work just fine. Remember we are doing “American” adult Mac n cheese so this is absolutely allowed and will work beautifully. American cheese has its place, especially here, because it melts smooth and is creamy dreamy as we all know. If you don’t know, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Bake it already:

1. Preheat oven to 375 F or just use your broiler, keeping an eye on it. Everything is cooked so we just need to warm it through and get the top browned.
2. Lastly, just mix your noodles, bechamel and any other goodies gently to incorporate. I also top with a bit of extra grated cheese so it browns and bubbles on top.
3. Bake for about 15 minutes or if using the broiler, stay alert and present. Lol! You just want to warm and brown the tops.

Aloha Deep - Hawaiian Style Chicago Deep Dish Pizza

We are a pizza-obsessed household. Not terribly unusual for most Americans, but since I keep a traditional Italian Neapolitan sourdough starter on hand at all times, we make every excuse to put it on our regular dinner rotation.

It’s such a thing, Tsu has planned on building the mother of all pizza and bread ovens in our new outdoor kitchen. Knowing his talents, this will be a Guy Fierri-style behemoth and a beauty, I’m sure. I am excited beyond words as I can think of nothing more fantastic or over the top yum than cooking these pizzas in a real pizza oven!

Recently, we’ve experimented with deep-dish and have made our rounds through the various options, including Sicilian, Detroit-style, etc. This one was more of a Chi-town try. Let’s get at it. I’ve blogged my pizza dough recipe before and will link it for you below.

My recipe for Italian pizza dough, aged at least 36 hours. Trust mama. With or without a heritage pizza starter, flavors need time to develop. That’s what “proofing” in bread baking is all about. This is a recipe for those that don’t have access to an Italian starter. I’ll post a recipe for my real-deal version soon.

I oiled my perforated deep dish pizza pan and sat it on top of the other perforated pizza pan covered with tin foil as I was worried about it bubbling over but it didn't. It’s always when I don’t take precautions that it gets wild, so just do it in case.

**If your dough has been refrigerated, it must come to room temperature before you try to stretch it out to fit your pan. If you are patient, this will allow your dough time to become relaxed and it makes stretching almost too easy.. I stretch, as opposed to roll, just easier. Flatten it out and gently stretch it from the center out, turning the pan and working Your way around the pan, until your edges are at the top of your pan. If you get tears, it’s likely not ready for this part so give it a few more minutes.

Let the dough rise in the pan, poking holes in the crust with a fork or dibbler so it rises evenly.

Now, the next steps of adding your toppings, as outlined below, is the key. The use of sliced provolone, as opposed to shredded mozzarella, as you will see, is the real secret behind cheesey perfection. I do not do it differently now and picante or sharp provolone is our new pizza-go-to cheese of choice. 

1. 1st layer is cheese, slices of provolone
2. 2nd layer is meat/toppings of choice
3. 3rd layer is sauce
4. 4th is a dusting of grated parmesan, shredded mozzarella if you must (traditionally, sauce is on top)

This pizza crust was freaking amazing. It was cooked perfectly.

Toppings:

I did half sausage, onion and black olive.

The other half we did Costco ham diced, fresh pineapple, onion.

Both were spectacular but the sausage we used we cooked first and it was the Italian breakfast links with fennel, also from Costco. It is a perfect sausage for pizza and we also use it in our Southern Biscuits and Gravy, a post for next time. ;)

Next time, I think we can just add it to the pizza raw instead; just one big flat layer of sausage so the whole pizza is covered. That's what we did with the cooked sausage and it was awesome to have sausage in every bite. Since it cooks so long in the oven we don't need to worry about cooking it ahead of time. Save the time and mess. I’ve seen it done at Chicago pizzerias and will do it this way from now on, especially on a deep dish.

Bake:

I preheated my oven to 400, put it in and then raised the temp to 450. I cooked it for 35 minutes then another 10 and it was divine. Tsu said it was the best he'd ever eaten. We both ate a quarter of the pizza and were stuffed but ate every last crumb. Finished the rest the next day.

The dough was crispy, had a great texture on the outside and it made eating the crust the best part! I also layered the cheese, which was pretty important, on the bottom first and in slices instead of using shredded or hand grated cheese. Also a timesaver. Next time I will do two layers of cheese though. one on the bottom and one in between the meat and sauce so it has extra cheesy goodness.

This was a heavy gigantic pizza but we were both so blown away.

Quick n Easy Chicken Cheesey Mexican Enchiladas

One of my Dad’s favorite meals is chicken and cheese enchiladas. Made these for him at Christmas per his request. They were so good, even I had to agree; felt the need to hug myself.

Sometimes when I am on a cooking roll, I do many meals at once or they are inspired by each other, I should say. This was that sorta day.

So this particular flurry of kitchen stadium activity was all about chicken. I had three lbs of frozen chicken breasts my stepmom wanted to use up, so I used it all and made several things.

First, I used the instantpot to make chicken stock for potato and leek soup, chicken noodle soup which we had the first night. I also used the cooked chicken for chicken salad for quick lunches on sandwiches or on it’s own. I love it on croissants, personally but I also love it by itself if you want to forego the carbs and keep it keto-friendly.

The rest of the chicken I shredded and used for the enchiladas. I don’t play. We had some good staples for the whole week and then some just by making my own stock using frozen chicken breasts in my instant pot. Couldn’t be easier.

I ended up making a square casserole of enchiladas for dinner with Dad the next night. I also made several small servings prepped in mini loaf pans which turned out were just the right size for freezing single-size servings. My stepmom doesn’t care for enchiladas so this was the perfect way to freeze them for quick go-to, single serve meals when she didn’t feel like cooking and Dad had a craving.

On to the enchilada show.

 Ingredients:

• 20 pack of medium 6-8 inch flour tortillas
• 13 oz can of enchilada sauce 
• ~1 lb shredded quesadilla or monterrey jack cheese
• ~1 lb cooked, diced or shredded chicken
• 8 oz cream cheese
• 1/2 cup of your favorite salsa
• 1/2 cup of half n half or heavy cream 
• Garlic powder, optional 
• Diced jalapenos, optional 
• Chopped cilantro, optional

Prep:

1. Butter your baking dishes, whatever you decide to use. I used a pyrex square casserole and several mini loaf pans for freezing. You can use a rectangular casserole dish or whatever you prefer.
2. Add just enough enchilada sauce to the bottom of your pan or pans to lightly cover the bottom.
3. Spread about a tablespoon of cream cheese on a flour tortilla, working with one tortilla at a time.
4. Add about a tablespoon of shredded cheese on top of the cream cheese, making a sort of line across the tortilla as opposed to sprinkling to cover the tortilla. This makes it easier to roll and distributes it better once it is rolled up.
5. Following the “line” method, add a tablespoon of chicken, jalapenos and cilantro on top of your line of cheese. A tablespoon is really just a guide as you can use more or less to taste. The idea is to be consistent so you have a good ratio of ingredients but not so much you can’t roll them.
6. Drizzle about a tablespoon of enchilada sauce over your meat and cheese and optionally, a very light sprinkle of garlic powder.
7. Roll each tortilla up and place the rolled tortillas in the pan seam-side down, packing them tightly as you go.
8. Mix the salsa and cream or half n half together in a mixing cup and pour over the top of the enchiladas.
9. Sprinkle a final layer of cheese on top and bake uncovered at 375 F for 40-45 minutes or until the cheese is golden brown and bubbly on top.
10. Remove from the oven and let cool for 5-10 minutes before slicing and serving. This allows the cheese to set so it doesn’t just slide off when serving.

** Note on freezing: If freezing, do steps 1-7, omitting the salsa/cream and cheese topping until just before baking. While your oven is preheating, mix your salsa and cream, covering the frozen enchiladas and top with cheese before putting in the oven. You may need to adjust your cooking time by another ten minutes, but I have found they do cook through in the same amount of time, regardless in my oven.

Also, when freezing initially, I pre-freeze the entire pan for at least an hour before wrapping and sealing them for longer storage. I find it easier if the enchilada sauce is frozen as it helps me wrap and seal my cooking vessels without making a complete mess. I also use my vacuum seal bags to get an airtight seal on the whole pan or mini pans, if I can because these keep freezer burn at bay and helps keep odors out of the freezer. But you can certainly use saran wrap, followed by tin or freezer paper or glass, if you prefer once the enchiladas are semi-frozen. I use freezer-safe, oven-safe dishes when I do, obviously as you wouldn’t want to risk breaking a nice casserole if it isn’t tempered for cold to hot applications.

Good Lard! Holy Night Empanadas

My mom cracks me up. The Martha Stewart of the Dirty South, y’all. Ain’t no lie, this woman can do seasonal decorating like nobody’s business.

I caught her in the act of transforming her home this year; like repainting the entire room because this year’s colors have changed kind of deal... I just had an inkling of what was in store as she hustled from room to room telling me about the theme fixing to unfold.

I was so astonished as I caught glimpses of this creative combustion of a human being doing exactly what she loves. She was born for this, people.

Holy crap, Mom, can you please come do this to my house?? I mean, it was Southern Living meets Architectural Digest meets someone please call Oprah...Floored by her talent and vision. It was gorgeous! Oh please oh please, Mamaw Sug, please be looking down because she surely got this divine design gene from you. My sister has it. I have it, too, I tell myself. Honestly, I’m too lazy for all that...I think my lights are still up, perpetually. In Hawaii. Lol! I digress, as usual.

So when she proceeds to tell me about the next phase entitled, Dining Table, I knew we had to really bring it this year. Photographers were surely gonna descend. Our menu had to be perfect. 

Mom continues to regale me with place settings and siblings arrivals and last minute details. My head is spinning as I run through my absolute go-to’s that would be magnificent but also do her Wonderland theme justice. She’s calling out duties and I tell her about the prime rib I just bought and she agrees emphatically that would be the star. But she says casually that she also has a special request, if I wouldn’t mind too terribly. I’m instantly intrigued. Whatever could this be?

Huh? I blink at her, wheels turning, albeit a bit slowly... She continues to cajole me enthusiastically telling me that she loves them from so-and-so but that she knows I can make them better, would I please just try? (Omg omg omg freaking out inside at the completely audacious way my mother just played me, baited by the challenge; hooked actually, too easy.) Absolutely intrigued and complicit, up for the challenge. My mother knows all too well how to orchestrate this event. I throw myself, her humble Latino servant, headlong into the unusual request.

I’ve expounded on this before...my love of all things remotely associated with lard, pork fat of any kind. It’s a secret weapon, no doubt, in most things authentically Latino. I’m not really Latino, right, but if you were to judge that by the amount of lard I admittedly use and consume, you might be a little skeptical. But if you are making tamales, refried beans and yes, holy night empanadas, then this little secret will bring down the house. Slap yo’ mama and praise the Good Lard, for reals! Lol!

Ok, let’s get this show on the road.

Here goes nothing but goodness

• 2 c flour
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 tsp Calumet baking powder
• 1/2 c lard (shit I used 1/4 c so maybe not enough fat as I wrote that down wrong. But I was guessing too because I didn’t have a measuring device. Worked fine because I probably used too much anyway. lol! But for the sake of replicating, I used 4 heaping tablespoons of lard, which seemed close enough)
• 1/2 c water

Prep the dough

1. Combine flour, baking powder and salt in large bowl or in your food processor, if you have one. This is an easy dough to make by hand but in my food processor I can do double batches in no time flat.
2. Cut in lard with pastry blender or 2 knives until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Or pulse to this consistency in your processor.
3. Gradually add water, stirring or pulsing until mixture forms ball. You just want it moist enough to start coming together so if you see the ball forming but it isn’t yet picking up the remaining dough then that is just about right. The water measurement is meant as a guide as you may need a little less or a little more depending on your environment. Better too dry than too wet, rule of thumb.
4. Place dough on lightly floured surface; knead 5 min. or until smooth and pliable. I avoid this part and dump the contents of my food processor directly into a gallon ziplock bag and knead it into a smooth ball right in the bag. Easy to store or freeze for later and less mess. 
5. Wrap tightly in plastic wrap or remove the air from your gallon ziplock and seal. Refrigerate for at least an hour before using or freeze for future use, if you prefer.
6. Roll out your refrigerated dough onto a clean, floured surface. Not too thin, no transparency, but more like you would for tortillas. Not too thick to fold and seal with your ingredients, either. As I said before, your first batch will tell the story and you can course correct the next batch or just re-chill your dough and re-roll if you can’t stand your first attempt. Chilled dough rolls better due to the fat content. If your dough gets too soft or sticky, just rechill the whole thing and it will behave better.

Fill and Bake

Preheat your oven to 400 F, putting your oven racks towards the middle of your oven. I bake 2 trays at once, rotating them at the 20 minute mark. Grease the pans with, what else? Yep, Manteca, chicas .

1. Using a cutter of some kind, cut circles (or squares, who cares?) from your dough and place on your greased cookie sheets. This is easier for me to fill doing it that way but you can fill and move to your sheet if that’s easier for you. 
2. Fill with a teaspoon of your filling. A teaspoon of meat, a teaspoon of cheese is what I do and it was perfect.
3. I use my finger dipped in water to run around the edge of my empanada and then fold and seal. I find this creates a good seal that won’t come undone while baking. I also use a fork to crimp the edges as they look nice and reinforces the seal. 
4. Using a paring knife, I cut straight small vents in the top of the empanada so it doesn’t blow its top while it bakes. Steam gets trapped and rises so a vent in the top will also ensure your filling doesn’t try to leave the party from your sealed edges because the steam can get out. If you forget, you’ll see what I mean. It’s a bummer to loose your filling to the baking gods.

Venison Filling

• 2 lb of ground venison or beef or whatever-have-you
• 1 onion diced
• 1 jalapeño diced
• Manteca (pork lard)
• 1 pint fresh Taco or enchilada sauce

This can be done anytime. I like to prep my filling the day before. That means, grating the cheese and making the meat mixture. I keep everything sealed and back in the fridge in between trays to keep it cold as well.

One reason I do is that all ingredients are cold when filling the dough, which is super helpful because it stays put and makes the folding and sealing easier. If your cheese melts or your filling is warm, the dough immediately starts to soften and spread, getting worse as you fill the tray. Not fun. And we really want to keep this fun...

1. In a large, wide skillet sauté the onion and jalapeño on medium heat using the Manteca (1 tbsp at a time) to keep it from burning or sticking. If you have olive oil, butter or bacon grease, that will work too. The venison is extremely lean so the purpose is two-fold, a fat for cooking our aromatics and secondly as a fat for flavor and texture, much like we do in the US when making burgers or using ground meat that is too lean. 
2. Cook the onion mixture until translucent, adding more Manteca as needed to keep the party moving.
3. Add the ground venison and continue browning, adding the taco sauce a little at a time to the meat mixture and letting it cook down before adding more. The beef becomes flavored and thickens up with the sauce as it cooks. The texture we are looking for is a lot like chili. We don’t want too much liquid or the empanadas will be soggy.
4. Last but not least: brush the tops of your empanadas with an egg wash. It makes a difference so don’t skip this step. Crack and egg, scramble it well with a teaspoon of water and lightly, gently brush the tops with a pastry brush. My sister didn’t have one, I used clean fingers to fake this part, but I’m glad I did. Gives a gorgeous color and gloss to the finished empanadas.

Bake
400 F on middle racks for 20-30 minutes. I set my timer for 20 minutes, then rotate my trays at that mark and finish baking for another 5-10 minutes, keeping an eye in case they start to brown too much. Remember that the filling is cooked so at this point, you just need to make sure the dough has cooked and the browning tops (and smell!) will be your best indicator. Not sure? Try one. Yep, you have full permission to check it out.

**Note:
How to Make Sweet Empanada Dough
Prepare as directed, mixing 1/2 cup sugar with the flour, baking powder and salt.

Make Ahead
Dough can be prepared ahead of time. Wrap tightly in plastic wrap or your ziplock bag and refrigerate up to 2 days. Remove from refrigerator about 5-10 min. before using but I find working with cold dough much easier to roll.

I’ve also frozen this dough and defrosted it in the fridge overnight with great success. It’s a very forgiving dough, you will find. If it gets too lazy or unwieldy, pop your dough back in the fridge so the fat can setup again. The lard is what makes it work but as the dough warms, the lard warms too and can make it feel sticky or wet when it’s not. It’s just gotten too warm in the kitchen, that’s all.

Filling suggestions
We use anything! Especially leftover meats and cheeses. I’ve used chopped steaks, chicken, vegetables, beans and rice, you name it. Great way to use leftovers.

Mom’s super cheat suggestion
Mom said she used to make these using store-bought biscuits in a can. When she said that, I felt a shockwave of memories flood me and I remembered them! I was like, damn, mom, wish you would have told me that 2 days ago. Lol! But she really did. She’d roll the biscuits out with a rolling pin, fill them and shallow fry them in bacon grease. My mouth just watered as I wrote that, remember it so well. After I made like 60 from scratch...lol!

Other tips
And a double batch of dough, using the recipe above, makes 18 empanadas. (I made 3 batches and not a single empanada survived the event.) I had dough left from those perfect rounds and with that, I just made one or two larger free form empanadas just to use it all up. Those larger empanadas were the first to go, turns out, so no one will care if they don’t look quite the same.

Also, I didn’t have a cookie cutter big enough or that didn’t look like a Christmas tree or a gingerbread man so I improvised. I used a plastic takeout quart container turned upside down as my cutter. I just floured the rim and went to town. Worked like a charm.

Can you tell I enjoyed this Christmas throw down challenge immensely? No one deserves that kind of effort more than my Mom. But I can’t wait to do it all again for my own crew once I get home.

Merry Christmas to All and to All a good night!

You Got Your Mojo on my Tostone

So it's been rumored that my banana trees are actually plantains, or "cooking" bananas. At least that is what Fruit Ninja, my super awesome and truly generous neighbor, Faye, told me when I first moved into my house here on Island of Hawai'i.

Faye is affectionately referred to as Fruit Ninja because she has an uncanny and super stealth ability to drop off fruit, even while I'm home, without anyone knowing she was ever there. lol! How she does it, I don't know, because this little old lady who is over 75, is as agile as a cat and can carry upwards of 30 lbs of fruit all by her lonesome. Yep, that is no exaggeration. One thing I do NOT have to buy here in Hawai'i... is fruit.

And... plantains. A fruit? I'm not entirely sure about that but my first harvest of plantains is underway. Interestingly enough, plantains, if allowed to ripen are also sweet so the first thing to decide when cooking with them is whether you want to go sweet or savory.

Sweet plantains are probably best well known as Maduras in Cuban cuisine. Sticky, sweet, creamy. They are the sweet potato of the banana world.

Sweet plantains aren't different, really, than the savory ones. They are just fully ripe. Mine actually look just like yellow bananas when they are ripe but one variety of plantains (I think I have several varieties) look like fat sausages and are distinct in their shape. I harvested some not long ago that I thought were surely plantains only to find them to be the sweetest bananas I've ever had and they were little skinny fingerlings. Suffice it to say, I'm learning the ropes of having near 50 banana trees on my property. Good lord. Thank you for this heavenly abundance!

So anyway, back to the tostone... Tostones, as you may know, are the flattened plantain slices that are deep fried and served with a garlicky chimichurri of sorts. One of my favorite fried foods, turns out, because it can easily be a meal in itself served with black beans and rice. Which is what we had for dinner last night.

Here is what we found out when making them for the first time with this new bushel of plantains: the green ones are the ones you use for a crispier, unsweet version of tostones. BUT! If you are like me, you will fall pretty hard for a slightly sweeter version that combines a crispy edge with a tender interior. And this, to me, pairs so very well with the garlicky mojo served as a dipping sauce.

Let's get started.

For the tostones:

• 2 ripe or unripe plantains, cut into 1 1/2 inch disks
• oil for frying (we use coco oil or peanut oil, ghee might be otherworldly)

For the mojo dipping sauce:

• head of fresh garlic, peeled (yep, all the cloves)
• handful of cilantro
• olive oil
• fresh lime or lemon or white wine vinegar
• salt, to taste

Make the mojo first.

1. Peel all garlic cloves from a whole head of garlic and toss into your food processor. A mini food processor will work fine as it makes about a cup or so of sauce.
2. Add handful of washed, fresh cilantro to the food processor, along with a drizzle of olive oil.
3. Pulse a few times just to get things moving. If it struggles a bit, add another little drizzle of olive oil and a squeeze of citrus until it begins to blend well. The texture is totally a matter of preference but I like mine a bit like a pesto or chimichurri but you can make it as smooth or as chunky as you like.
4. Salt to taste and set it aside. The flavors will begin to meld.

Make the tostones:

1. If making tostones with green, unripe, plantains, slice down one side to peel the tough skin off. Cut plantains into 1 1/2-2 inch disks.
2. In a shallow pan or deep fryer, fry the plantains on each side for 2-3 minutes or until softened slightly. Don't overdo it here as tostones are twice fried. This is the first part. You will know if they are done enough to squash. Yep, that's the technical tell... can you squash it?
3. Oil the backside of a small plate or glass (or use a plastic baggie) to help flatten the disks into tostone rounds. Don't kill it, just flatten it. You'll get the hang of it. The glass, plate or baggie is just to help flatten it evenly and a bit of oil keeps it from sticking. I use a plastic baggie because it can just be peeled back and doesn't stick to the tostone. A bit easier, less mess.
4. Deep fry until they reach the crispy level you prefer. This is where you taste and figure out the texture you prefer. Salt and let drain on paper towels but serve immediately.

Note: If you are making tostones the way I like them, with ripened plantains, you don't need to double fry as they are already softer than the unripe plantains. You slice, smush and fry. No shallow first frying is necessary.

To serve, plate those suckers up solo and serve with mojo sauce on the side. If serving as a side, then you know what you are doing so serve it however you like!

For those of you that love the Cuban style Maduros, which are more like dessert bananas-Foster style... 

1. Warm up some butter, brown sugar in a pan on medium low heat until just melted and the sugar has dissolved.
2. Toss in some of your cooked, ripened plantains and let warm through in your caramel-ish sauce. 
3. Serve by itself or over.... um, anything.

Sous Vide French Onion Soup - Say What??

Total soup-aholics. Anything soup, we are down. So this week's request is another batch of broccoli cheese and a batch of french onion.

Soup is so easy. We do lots of salads, too. So when we are having a busy week, and we've had nothing but those kind lately, we do lots of soup and salad.

I got a huge head of broccoli at the grocery store for $1. Hawaiians take their produce pretty seriously so the local grocery stores go through things daily and if it isn't perfect, it gets discounted. I am flabbergasted by this practice but can't complain for a second because I will pick this up for soup almost every time. I mean, for a buck, why the heck not? I've posted that recipe before and it never fails me.

But since I have the sous vide going, why not make the most of it? I'm prepping the onions for french onion soup at the same time. We will eat the broccoli cheese soup tonight and do the french onion later this week. How quick and easy will it be when all I have to do is add a beautiful buttered french bread crouton, top it generously with gruyere and melted to perfection? Done and done! Freaking awesome.

Here's what you need for the make ahead caramelized onions, which is the base of my upcoming soup:
4-5 large onions (I used the big Maui sweet from Costco), sliced
2 sprigs of fresh thyme
1 tbsp Better than Bouillon Roast Beef, optional
pepper
~ 1 cup of white wine

1. Pile all of your onions in a large stock pot or Creuset, lid on and heat on medium. This will get your onions to start to sweat and release their moisture, which is what we want. Stir every once in a while.
2. When the onions have released some liquid, take the lid off and add a sprig of thyme, stirring. 
3. Once the onions start to dry a bit and turn translucent, add your white wine and better than bouillon and allow them to cook down a bit more. Do you need the btb? Um, yes. I mean it will probably be delicious even if you must forego it but trust me that it adds so much depth and a jar of this stuff can last a loooong time. It's worth every penny just to keep it around for when you need it.
4. Remove from heat and allow to cool before adding the onions and second fresh sprig of thyme to a ziplock bag. 
5. Remove as much air out of the bag as you can, then drop it like it's hot. Sous vide time.

Sous vide at 185 degrees F for however long it takes to get your onions dark enough for your tastes. I did mine overnight. This picture shows my starting point but it did darken up significantly overnight.

To make the French Onion soup:

1. Ladle out some of your caramelized onions into a soup crock.
2. Top with a toasted slice of your favorite bread, baguette or puff pastry if you're feeling fancy.
3. Sprinkle with grated gruyere or provolone. Gruyere is traditional and my favorite but Asiago, Jack, Swiss, any good melter will do.
4. Broil if you can give it attention, otherwise, bake at 450 F until brown and bubbly.

Nothing but shock and awe, baby. I will probably do this at least once or twice a month now. Tsunami was in love with it and said it was THE BEST french onion soup he'd ever had. A high compliment indeed. I was pretty impressed with it myself!

Escargot Three Ways - Escargots Bourguignons, Escargot Vol-au-Vent and Escargot au Gratin

Well, what a productive run to the dump we had today! lol!

We don't have trash pickup in Hawai'i so you have to actually take care of your own trash situation. That's actually fine with me as it helps you know exactly how much trash your household produces.

The State has recycling centers at our dump facility that actually tracks just how much product, by weight, it keeps out of the landfills which it resells to pay for the facility. Brilliant.

The bargains you can find here are quite something. If you could see the cool and awesome stuff that turns up here, you'd be just as impressed as we are. Who cares if we are totally garage-saling it, da kine style? It's definitely a local kinda vibe but with cool as shit vintage fare showing up daily. The Nordstrom's of dumpster diving. It's super fun and one of our favorite past times when running errands and doing household chores.

We've picked up crystal vases, local artwork, vintage electronics, gorgeous wood carvings and just about any kind of cool household item you might possibly need. For pennies.

Today our haul was two huge odd cut slabs of granite from a kitchen install. Beautiful. Stuff I probably wouldn't afford for our cabana if I had to pay retail. But today at $7 for the lot, that's just where it will end up. Thanks, dump.

I didn't see much else today except a gorgeous vintage Murano glass vase (yes, mine!) and oddest of oddities, 2 French escargot baking dishes!! Score! I showed them to Tsunami and all he said was, "So I guess we need to swing by the grocery store?" Um, hell yea.

$17 later, we were on our way. To the grocery store. :)

What I bought:
2 cans of snails
1 sprig of fresh thyme
1 shallot
3-4 cloves of garlic
1 stick of butter
2 tbsp chopped fresh parsley (or whatever herb you have, right?)
salt, pepper to taste
hot sauce and/or lemon, optional, of course but that's how we do it

Super easy prep:

1. Mince very finely parsley, garlic, shallots and thyme together to create a mirepoix of sorts.
2. Add 1/4 tbsp of butter to each indent of your escargot pan, if using an escargot or aebleskiver pan. Basically, a pat of butter quartered is what I start with in each spot.
3. Add a snail or two.
4. Top with a 1/2 tsp of your mirepoix mixture and add another dab of butter if you think it needs it.
5. Cut small circles to fit your indents, if doing the vol-au-vent version. Otherwise, just bake as is with your butter/herb concoction. An optional twist is to make them au gratin style, which is just sprinkled with cheese. 

Bake:
Preheat oven to 450 F.

These are cooked to order just before serving, so once ready, pop in the oven for 15-16 minutes or until butter is bubbly and/or the puff pastry is puffy and lightly browned.

You can serve with a crusty bread or French baguette, which yes, I often make as well. But tonight, because Tsunami is a pot-pie-aholic and because we had it this way at a pretty famous Chicago restaurant some years ago, we are having it with puff pastry; Escargot Vol-Au-Vent.

Honestly, though, we always serve it with extra French bread because there is always some delicious butter sauce left that needs to be addressed. lol! Almost the best part of this whole dish so don't leave this goodness behind!

Inspired by recycling. But with this awesome dish, no need for leftovers because there won't be any. Who cares? This dish is almost obscene in that it is nothing but fresh herbs, butter and canned snails. Fancy fast food. Who can complain about that?

Don't have an escargot pan? Maybe use a mini muffin pan? Or shot glasses! I've even seen this recipe done family style in a shallow au gratin pan. Whatever suits the bill for the amount of guests you will be serving. Even if it's just your little ol' self... Fancy can totally be done solo.

* Note about canned snails: drain and wash well with cold water and keep refrigerated, covered until ready to use. Use within 5 days. I use sooner than that, generally speaking. My cans typically yield 18 good sized snails so that goes pretty far! One pan for me, one pan for you, one pan for whoever makes it there first!

Nix the GMO - Non GMO Homemade Tamale Corn Masa

Ok, I can feel a rather long post coming on because this topic is one I can totally soapbox out on...

I'll save you.

The nitty gritty of this story is that I just made my very own homemade masa using non-GMO certified organic corn I bought from Amazon.

Hilariously, Tsunami tried to add this dried corn to his last batch of chili. He did try to rehydrate it for a few hours simmering, like a good sport. I also tried to tell him that I didn't think that was all there was to it... but not being sure myself, I let him truck along. It didn't work, of course. It never rehydrated properly and he was surely baffled. We ate it anyway. lol!

However, I decided that it was indeed time to figure it out properly because I wasn't going to keep store bought corn out of the house for very long, if I didn't.

My primary rationale for buying this in the first place was to make corn tortillas for chips for nachos. Yea, that's me, dudes. That's how I operate. It might take me days to make one dang thing I love to eat, but no one complains when I do. It's the kitchen curiosity in me, I guess. And also, I don't want to die eating the things I love to eat just because I can't figure out a healthier alternative.

My health, in my own hands, I endeavor.

Anywho, back to corn.

Nixtamalization. 
The process for making dried corn edible. There is probably a lot more to that, but you can Google that if you like. For this post, it's enough to say that the corn is a tough nut. It needs a process to rehydrate it enough to allow for the skins to be removed and in doing so, make it edible through the cooking process.

This is done by cooking the corn in an alkaline solution. And this is easily accomplished by adding pickling lime to your simmer and letting the whole thing sit overnight. Easy, right? Yup. So easy.

2 cups dried corn
2 tbsp pickling lime
water to cover well

1. Wash and pick through your dried corn just in case there are small stones or oddballs in the mix.
2. Simmer corn, lime and water on low for about 30-45 minutes, covered.
3. Turn off the heat and let this sit, covered, overnight.
4. Wash the corn the next day and store, covered, in the fridge with fresh water until ready to use. I didn't get to mine for 2 days and all was well. I changed the soaking water daily.
5. Wash corn in fresh water, gently rubbing kernels to remove skins. Try to remove what you can and don't worry if you don't get it all off. A lot will have slipped off themselves during the soaking and cleaning.

Corn Masa for Tamales

~4 c chicken stock

1/2 block of manteca (pork lard)

~ 4 cups fresh finished nixtamalized corn

salt, to taste

My 2 cups dried corn turned into about 4-5 cups of nix corn. Basically two batches in my food processor. The chicken stock is a starting point of what you may need. I had a half gallon of stock handy and used about half during the grinding process of the corn. It does depend on your environment as well because your corn may not need as much liquid, etc.

If you were using masa harina, or ground masa flour, then you would alternate adding a little flour to your whipped manteca with a little chicken stock to hydrate your dough/batter. For tamales, you want more of a batter than a dough, which is why the manteca and chicken stock are key. They also add a real depth of flavor to your tamales, of course.

I took half my corn or what would fit in the bowl of my food processor and pulsed the corn using the chicken stock to create a loose, but not wet, corn puree of sorts. Just enough stock or liquid (you can absolutely use water) to allow it to break down into a smooth corn batter. Hard to explain this part but you will use this to add to your whipped manteca.

1. In the bowl of your stand mixer, if you have one, whip up the manteca until silky and smooth. 
2. Ladle in the corn mixture a little at a time and incorporate before adding more corn.
3. Add a little more chicken stock if it looks like your batter is too stiff. It should not fall off the spoon but still be spreadable like a good hummus. 

And that, is about all there is to that. 

There is magic in this whole nixing affair... and it is what produces THE quintessential essence of Mexican corn tortillas, cooking, in fact. It transforms the corn and produces that distinct nutty flavor found in all authentic tortillas.

To make tortillas, you don't need the pork fat. It's just the corn and water, instead of chicken stock. Press balls of this simple corn dough between two plastic baggies and fry that sucker up on a hot tomal or cast iron skillet. You may never eat another or look at another, corn tortilla the same way ever again.

A word about manteca...you could use shortening but why, dude? In Texas, at every grocery store, you can buy fresh, housemade rendered pork fat. Seriously easy to come by. I don't have that luxury in Hawai'i although the Paniolos definitely provide access to any and all real Mexican kitchen staples. I can get manteca at every grocery store. And when we get our wild boar, we'll probably be able to get more manteca than we can shake a stick at. 

Moral of this long-winded pseudo-story is to encourage you, even if you are little sketched out by the idea of pure pork fat... just allow me to gently encourage you to get over it and try it. You will not ever think of it the same way again. Your granny probably kept cans of bacon fat on the stove, right? This is no different. Why waste what most people now understand to be quite healthy for you. In moderation, big shocker.  Animal fats, our bodies know how to process. Just sayin'...

If you can't hack the idea, use shortening but just know that you will improve the flavor and overall kitchen experience immensely if you go the distance and use PORK FAT! YEA!